me The Musings of Somebody, Somewhere

I'm Adam, 22 and from the winter wonderland known as Canada :)

I write a lot in order to try and get thoughts that I think are interesting out in a coherent format. I like to explore and see what ideas and new perspectives I can get from those around me as well as from my own mind. The end product is usually a novel long text post and uh... it kinda happens a lot. Some of my posts are meant to be thought-provoking, some are just me venting, and some are just plain retarded. I try to make everything at least a bit interesting though ;)

Other than that, I adore music from power metal to indie to folk and all the things in between. It's what has kept me afloat for so long now. I do the odd reblog for DW, Fringe, Game of Thrones, and a bunch of other shows and movies too.

I also post occasionally about my experiences with depression and how it affects my life. So if you're like me in that regard and are looking for someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to shoot me a line. I'm always willing to lend an ear for anyone that needs it.

Day 12

Had a nice night at a bar in Hamilton tonight with a friend. Home for the weekend for Easter.

04.19.14

Day 13

Looked at my posts from April and May 2012 again. It still amazes me how stupid I was; how I let a girl that I had fallen for take advantage of my feelings so completely.

I saw a post I had made the night before my last exam of the year, near the end of April. I was studying in the library that day and had been talking to this girl for most of it. At this point I still had never met her after being stood up in every one of the numerous attempts I made, but I had made the smart decision to tell her I loved her a week or two before. I was trying to make plans to drive to her place in Toronto to meet her (she went to Western but lived in Toronto and was home for part of exams).

We finally got the details down and she said she wanted me to come by. Everything was looking good. Then I made the smart decision to ask her if this was really going to happen and if she wasn’t just going to back out again.

She absolutely flipped out. She went on and on about how we shouldn’t be together if she disappointed me so much. It was fairly cold that night and I remember propping myself up against the brick wall of a school down the street from my house, frantically trying to apologize and get back on her good side. I sat there for something like a half hour, until I couldn’t feel my hands any more, because I didn’t want to go home and explain myself to my roommates. I wasn’t scared of them knowing I was upset. I was scared that they would tell me what I already knew but didn’t want to acknowledge: that I was being played. I sat there and blamed myself, even when what was going on was staring me straight in the face.

Again, it’s weird to see how much I’ve changed as a person. If that night happened now, things would be much different. I can’t say exactly how it would go, but I’m not the same guy who let himself get used because he was so desperate for a relationship two years ago. That’s for sure.

04.18.14
visually-enjoyable   5072 04.17.14

"You crave the deepest connections with others, but you don’t trust to let anyone in."

Days 15 and 14

Shit, just realized I totally forgot to write a post yesterday. I’ll blame that on studying. Either way, butchered the exam this morning. Whhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee. Now time to sleep because I’m fucking tired. Next few days are Easter and job hunting.

04.17.14

WHEN YOU FINALLY WAKE UP AFTER SLEEPING PAST YOUR ALARM AND REALIZE CLASS STARTS IN 5 MINUTES:

that-college-life   282 04.16.14

terrorless:

the-girl-who-laughed:

This is the most accurate picture I’ve ever seen.

my fucking life

(via austinsherman)

fuckyeahcomicsbaby   502406 04.15.14

Day 15

I got my final mark back on the project….. and I made it. I didn’t hit it out of the park by any means, but I still did respectably. Considering all that happened, and how much of a nightmare it turned into, I’m more than satisfied. One very big worry is out of the way.

Now I just need to write this damn exam tomorrow and I get a week long break. Not too sure how this one is gonna go though…

Oh and the job thing. A job would be nice.

Tagged: personal, .
1 04.15.14

Day 16

I’ve been looking through my archive for the past few days. It amazes me how much 3 years can change a person. I am not the person I was when I started this blog and it shows. Between living on my own for the first time last year, having a full-time job for awhile, confronting the depression and anxiety, having all types of relationships blow up in my face and finally having a substantial social group in my life, I’ve learned a lot. It’s both refreshing and daunting to see those changes so vividly.

04.14.14

cldd5678:

Well I still feel like crap, stupid stuffiness and sore throat! But no, this isn’t another post where I bitch about my cold. Not yet at least :p

I was driving to work a few days ago and I had a thought that really made me stop and think for a moment. Maybe everyone knows this already, but have…

I’ve been meaning to go back and read this post for quite awhile now. One of the best insights I think I’ve ever had and one of the best things I’ve ever written. Short and sweet too :)

cldd5678   3 04.14.14